Written by SpaceElevator
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Thursday, 6 September 2007

image for Dick Cheney's Saliva Determined to be Powerful Neurotoxin

District of Columbia (Reuterus) - According to the Office of the Vice President, significant amounts of the powerful neurotoxin Tetrodotoxin have been found to exist in his saliva.

"Who knew?" said longtime Cheney sycophant Bob Plissken. "The only person who might have suspected was his wife, and I think she quit swapping spit with the Vice President years ago."

One likely source for the toxin could be Cheney's recent diet, which includes summer roadkill, toadstools and the innards of pygmy rattlesnakes. Another possible source could be a strain of bacteria that is normally only found beneath toilet seat covers.

Venomologists from Australia have been called in to confirm the finding. Until then Vice President Cheney has promised that he will try not to bite anyone, including 'that assh*le Scott Ritter' (who always maintained that there were no weapons of mass destruction to be found in Iraq).

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