Written by Jesus Budda
Print this

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

image for Donald Rumsfeld crushes Rene Zellweger

Former White House loon Donald Rumsfeld has admitted to trying to crush "Jerry Maguire" actress Rene Zellweger, between a bookcase and wall.

"I don't know what came over me", admitted the 75 year old, "something in me just clicked. Her rosy cheeks reminded me of apples which, logically lead me to think of terrorist activities. Now that just made my blood boil".

Rumsfeld, a legendary b*stard and village idiot, has been very quite of late. Almost too quite. Rumors were starting to circulate that he was secretly organising an attack on some unfortunate fools in Pakistan just before the Zellweger-Gate story broke.

"I'm a b*stard. You know it and I know it", spoke Rumsfeld from his mountain lair, "I'm kinda like a modern day King Midas. Except everything I touch turns to sh*t..."

Mr. Rumsfeld has apologised to Zellweger.

Make Jesus Budda's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 2?

1 6 3 4
103 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more