Written by Andrew Lawrence
Print this

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

image for Illegal Immigrant Shoots English Speaking Machine

An illegal immigrant from Mexico today shot and killed a machine at the self-service checkout stand at a local Home Depot, a large home improvement supplies store, in Los Angeles.

The shooter explained, through an interpreter, that the automated check out machine he was using was speaking English instead of Spanish. This enraged the illegal immigrant who does not speak one word of English and, as a result of this cultural and linguistic disrespect and abuse, the illegal pulled out a revolver and emptied 6 shots into the offending machine.

The shooter was arrested and released and plans to sue Home Depot for $5 million.

A spokesperson for Home Depot immediately issued a statement profusely apologizing for subjecting any U.S. illegal immigrants to English.

Welcome to politically correct America.

copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence

Make Andrew Lawrence's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 2?

5 17 10 12
46 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more