Written by Gail Farrelly
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Tuesday, 4 September 2007

image for Fred Dalton Thompson Gives Mount Rushmore a Makeover
There goes the neighborhood!

The granite sculptures of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore in South Dakota will soon have company.

It's now clear why Fred Dalton Thompson has waited so long to declare for the presidency. He's been working on a very unusual campaign strategy, buying some land near Mount Rushmore and posing for a sculpture of himself to be placed near to the sculptures of the four presidential giants.

One of Thompson's handlers feels that it's a smart strategy. He thinks his boss is the only one of the Republican presidential candidates to have the scruffy kind of good looks essential for the presidency. "The rest of them look like weenies," he's been quoted as saying, adding "they are not at all Mount Rushmore material, and Republicans need to see that."

A supporter of Rudy Giuliani, quoted on condition of anonymity, grudgingly admitted that Thompson was smart to do the Mount Rushmore deal. He jeered, "Thompson has no smarts, no credibility, no platform. But he's nice and tall and does have a presidential bearing and voice. That's about all he has, so he might as well make use of it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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