Immediately following the violence at the Straw Poll for the Republican Party in Fort Worth Texas campaign advisors for Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, and Fred Thompson gathered to discuss how to deal with the BlowBack generated by the YouTube Video posted showing Ron Paul supporters being assaulted.
The raging controversy comes on the heels of other muted reports of efforts to quell the grassroots revolution. Trying to find a way to defuse a situation which has Ron Paul getting massively more campaign donations than the entire Republican Party, staff came up with a solution to silence critics.
The consensus arising from the smoke-filled corridors outside of Texas Governor Rick Perry's office was to extend an early nomination to Ron Paul for the position of Vice President.
Giuliani himself has even agreed provided a restraining order can be applied to maintain a 500m distance between the himself and the Vice President. Aides report Rudy is unable to comprehend any of what he refers to as 'constitution'-speak emanating from Ron Paul's vicinity and finds it highly confusing. Unfortunately, Giuliani doesn't understand the metric system so local judges have agreed to amend the restraining order to 500 feet.
Romney has seconded the idea with the motion to move the White House to Salt Lake City if he wins the presidential election.
Fred Thompson was unavailable for comment due to his chemotherapy sessions, but aides relayed his acceptance provided that Ron Paul supporters were restricted to FEMA Free Speech internment camps in Iowa.
No immediate word has come back from the headquarters for Ron Paul's campaign, but witnesses report that staff are sprawled in agonizing fits of laughter throughout the offices, rolling on the carpets breathless from the aftereffects of the invitation.
More news on this and other developing events in this highly unusual presidential campaign is expected later tonight, so stay tuned while we keep you informed on developments as they happen.
Back to Britney Spears now -