(Washington) - The U.S. announced today that, instead of a fence across its southern border with Mexico, it will install a moat.
The previous proposal for a fence was criticized - by everyone with common sense - as an expensive and stupid idea. Faced with a fence, illegal border crossers could simply climb over it, make a hole in it or dig under it.
The U.S. moat will involve digging a trench across the southern border (California, Arizona, Texas) to the Gulf of Mexico. The moat will be 10 feet deep and about 1/2 mile wide and will be built by the Army Corps of Engineers, using huge bulldozers, steam shovels, etc.
After the moat is dug, it will be filled with water from the Gulf of Mexico. The U.S. Navy will then take all the leftover mines from World War II and Vietnam and mine the moat. After the moat is mined, The Department of Fish & Wildlife will add alligators. Lots of alligators.
According to a Homeland Security spokesperson, "98% of American citizens want illegal border crossing from Mexico stopped. A moat, filled with mines and alligators, will do that."
The moat will also be stocked with fish, so that the alligators won't starve when the illegals stop trying to cross the border.
For political correctness, and to appease the open border crowd, left wing liberals, environmentalists, and all our friends and neighbors south of the border, the U.S. will call the moat an "irrigation, recycling and wildlife project".
Welcome To America.
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence