Written by Griffin Hagle
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Friday, 12 March 2004

Domestic maven expected to start her own band behind bars

NEW YORK -- Following her Miltonian fall from grace last week, it looks like Martha Stewart's already making plans for prison living.

Sources close to the convicted diva say that she plans to order 3 Day Guitar, the headline-making instructional video released in February, to watch in her cell.

"If they're really going to put me away, I might as well learn something useful," sources quoted Martha as saying. "I've never had the time to learn the guitar before -- now it seems I've got nothing but time."

Ms. Stewart is expected to make the most of her time while incarcerated, possibly even pulling together fellow inmates to form a jailhouse band. This, in turn, has attracted numerous production companies interested in doing a show along the lines of "Martha Stewart Living" altered to suit her new environment.

Martha Stewart is the latest known celebrity to have jumped on the 3 Day Guitar bandwagon; last week, we brought you this story of the Pope's elation over the new instructional video.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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