(Washington) - With the population of the United States now standing at 300 million, the newest group to be granted official minority status is: rich white males.
The poor, the middle class, and women and other minorities make up 98% of the population while rich white males make up only 2%, the reason why rich white males are now officially designated as a minority group. This new designation forces local and federal governments to give favorable and preferential treatment to rich white males, as they are America's new minority group.
Under the politically correct category of diversity, rich white males will now be given the same special advantages and favoritism shown other minority groups. As rich white males may now be under represented in many industries, in education and in government rich caucasian males will be given preferential treatment in hiring, even if they are less qualified. Ivy League universities will now favor rich white males in their admissions programs, the same way they give an admission advantage to other minorities. Universities will also immediately begin hiring rich white males to teach Minority Studies, Black History and Women's Studies. And, in private industry, rich white males will be given hiring preference for such jobs as maids, meter maids and nannies.
The American Civil Liberals Union is planning to bring a number of lawsuits on behalf of the new rich white male minority. A spokesperson for the ACLU states, "We liberals will not tolerate the unfair treatment of any minority, including rich white males. America must be diverse and politically correct, even to the point of being ridiculous."
John Edwards, Senator from North Carolina, presidential candidate, and complete idiot, is the perfect representative for rich white males and has stepped forward as their new spokesperson. He has already been booked for a 9-city speaking tour, at $150,000 per speech.
When contacted about the new minority status for rich white males, Reverends Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson could not be reached for comment as they were, for the first time in their lives, totally speechless.
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence