Crawford, tezarse - (Ass Mes): A monster web of deceit has been discovered surrounding the Predator Chapel Ranch home of George W Bush according to Texas A&M University entomologist Professor John Jackman.
"This is not the work of just one ugly little spider," Jackman said today.
"It is the work of millions of small ones who have been spinning away such a whoppoing great big scam that it defies all logic, all comprehension and all the rules of criminal justice."
"Sure, there were reports of similar webs every few years during the Clinton Administrations," Jackman added, "but we always dismissed these as 'fairy-tales'.
"Now, however, one seems to have trapped all manner of pesky varmint bastard critters and has turned the web of deceit brown. As in Gordon Brown, UK Prime Monster and former British Finance Minister."
Sources close to an FBI investigation of Alaska's Corrupt Bastards Club have commented that this web "is either the work of social network like the UK's Hellfire Club, or the US's Osteoporosis division of the Skull 'N' Bones," or it is the creature of a single predator spreading out from a central point.
"Whichever way you look at it it's ugly," an FBI source said toda, "plain pug ugly."