After years of degeneration and ware and tare, Bush's treasured Cabinet has finally broken down and can no longer contain anything; his scattered crumbled up memo's, doodle pad for late night meetings, and even his emergency change of clothes will have to be recovered from the wreckage and recovered as part of the FBI's latest "Furniture Damage Security ACT." This disaster comes after a long and battered history in the white house.
In 2001, after dwelling upon the crisis at hand, President Bush was handed a large binder containing up to date analysis and summary of the terror attacks. After wondering what to do with it, he chucked it angrily in confusion at the Cabinet. The resulting chaos left a wooden platform on weak hinges.
Soon after, the White House carpenter came in and fixed it. "I remember the good old days with the old George Bush and Clinton." He lamented. "The first broke some ships and some Middle East stability, and the latter broke down his marriage, but neither of them caused much damage to their supplies. It was like getting paid for free. Nowadays, I'm in almost every week fixing one thing or another. A few days ago, the secretary of Defense even asked me for my help in recreating a new plan for Iraq. Now I might be able to fix a table or chair, but when it comes to rebuilding a decimated Cabinet by myself; well, let's just say that there was too much pressure to continue working here." When asked what advice he gave for the situation in Iraq, he answered " I don't recall."
Bush may be under risk for future furniture security risks with his most trusted repairman gone. A top Bush adviser, with the request of remaining anonymous, noted, "This will be a tough shift around here. With the economy down again, this is a very tough time to find a good, honest repairman. The last guy was one of the few people in the white house that anyone could come to for not only honest advice, but truthful prices."