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Friday, 31 August 2007

image for American Trucks Begin Crossing Border Saturday! Now gringos, terrorists, can enter Mexico, too!

MEXICO, Federal District. The first American trucks will begin crossing the border, confirming deeply held fears in Mexico that Mexican sovereignty has been lost.

Juan Martinez says, "It used to be that terrorists only went to the [United States] but now with the open borders, terrorists can come to Mexico too!"

"What will be of our jobs, now?" Martinez continued. "I just don't think I can trust gringos to drive safely here in Mexico".

Martinez along with others expressed terror at the thought of being unable to differentiate between American truckers and terrorists.

Julia Guillén de Chapultepec wonders, "How will we know if the truckers are American or Saudi terrorists? Do they look the same? I don't know…"

Guillén's sister Laura is not worried about terrorists. Her fears involve drug trafficking into Mexico: "You hear all these stories about American truckers taking amphetamines and other stimulants to stay awake. Soon our children will be corrupted by drugs, too. We must put an end to this."

Guillén's daughter, a fifth grader, is worried that American truckers will bring guns into Mexico. "Those Americans have no respect for the law. I just know they bring guns into Mexico and sell them in the black market. They also trash our hotels and and leave our toilets unflushed. No wonder our country is going down the sewer".

"What a slap in the face to Mexican workers, opening the highways to dangerous trucks on Labor Day weekend, an [American] holiday," said a motor vehicle department official. "Plus, I don't think these gringo drivers understand how driving works in Mexico. I can estimate a 20% increase in traffic accidents. We must close the borders soon […] My 12-year-old son drives better than the American tourists that rent cars here. One can only imagine the amount of destruction and chaos."

"But will they understand the road signs? I studied abroad in the United States, and kids my age could hardly read in English," says Pablo Gonzalez, who recently graduated from secondary school.

Martinez ended our interview solemnly. "With terrorists easily entering Mexico through the United States, we are now vulnerable to terrorism, too."

Amid public discontent, the borders will nevertheless open, leaving Mexico wide open to terrorists currently residing in America.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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