Written by Ken Adrian
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Wednesday, 10 March 2004

Los Angeles, CA. - John Kerry has announced his running mate for the 2004 election - Pee Wee Herman.

"I was looking for someone to go to war with in this fight against George Bush" Kerry proclaimed "and I couldn't think of a guy I'd rather have as my "right hand" than Pee Wee."

Mr. Herman, known as to the World simply as Pee Wee was quoted as saying, "I just lo-ve politics... I'm a little on the left but I'm good with the right too. It just depends on what's going to get things off to the best start, you know?"

On the one hand, Mr. Kerry needed someone with a firm grip on the issues and on the other hand, he needed someone who could get media attention.

"We looked at a number of possibilities" said Kerry "but frankly we needed someone who could really get a handle on things... someone who's not afraid of stroking the psyche of the American public - that person was Pee Wee Herman."

Mr. Herman, who will tour with Kerry on a specially designed campaign bicycle, is feeling himself quite confident as the election approaches. "I can't wait to get started!" the former TV star exclaimed "I've loaded up of lotion for my hands - for all those handshakes while we're touring."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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