DAYTONA BEACH, FL (AP Newsliar) -- The Invisible Man expressed consternation yesterday that nobody could see the truly righteous tan he has been working on.
The Invisible Man -- scientist Jack Griffin, who, while studying optical density, performed an experimental procedure on himself to change his refractive index, thereby becoming invisible -- claims that the tan is a nice even bronzed shade, with no tan lines whatsoever, since he tans in the buff.
Former colleague Dr. Arthur Kemp scoffs at the claim. "You know Griffin's an albino, don't you? Can you say 'extra crispy'? He'd broil like a lobster if he tried to tan. He's quite insane, you know, and this is probably just more of his delusional attention-seeking, world-dominating bullshit."
Police reported that the Invisible Man is now wanted on charges of public indecency, having sunbathed naked on a non-nude public beach.