US Embassy, London - (Ass Mess): Kate Middleton has been turned down for a US visitor's visa after a routine interview at the embassy's consular section alarmed sniffer dogs used to determine which applicants are regular drug users.
According to embassy insider sources specialist canines used to detect cocaine, heroin, speed, crystal meth and other refined narcotics became excited when Middleton arrived for a routine interview to secure her travel visa last week.
And then another pooch, a cannabis-detecting specialist, "went positively bonkers" after exposure to Middleton who ticked the obligatory "NO" box on her application in reply to whether she had ever used illicit narcotics.
Middleton's solicitor is now writing an official complaint to the embassy asking for an explanation for their client's failure to obtain the necessary travel permit "and maybe if that fails, leaning on the US ambassador to London - Robert 'Katie' Holmes Tuttle."
"If a regular junkie like Kate Moss can pass the dog sniffer test why can't Ms Middleton?" worried Clarence House sycophants demanded this week.