Following the example set by Karl Rove, Tony Snow, Alberto Gonzales, and numerous others, residents are leaving the city in droves.
A crisis is developing in that so many want "out" and so few want "in." Entrance ramps to the city are empty, while heavy traffic mobs all the exit ramps. Airlines have announced multiple cancellations of inbound flights due to lack of business; at the same time, they're running extra outbound flights to accommodate demand. As one customer indicated, "We want to get out of here while the going is good."
First Lady Laura Bush has even canceled her plans to attend the annual Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation forum in Sydney with her husband next month. The official excuse is a pinched nerve (yeah, right!). But observers report that President Bush is simply panic stricken and feels that, during his trip, his wife is desperately needed to hold down the fort and provide a live body in the White House as the rest of the town continues to empty.
In a surprising development, CNN star Lou Dobbs, usually an outspoken opponent of illegal immigration, has come up with a unique proposal to keep the district populated. He suggests that illegal immigrants willing to live and work in Washington, D.C., for at least a year be granted immediate amnesty. Those wanting further information can get it by dialing 1-800-CallLou.