Washingtoon D.C. - President Bush, seeking solace for his midnight bowel movements has built a new Presidential one holer out back in the Rose Garden.
"It's a good ol' one holer," laughed Bush at a press conference given by the new facility, "No plumbing, just a wood board with a hole cut in it and sanded a little so I don't get splinters...heh-heh."
Historical purists are in an uproar over the new addition, especially the parking area that required a substantial part of the historical garden to be turned into asphalt.
"The President is under a lot of pressure," said Tony Snow, "This little edition to the White House makes things a little more like Texas for him. He can have the limo and security take him out for a midnight cruise then they make their way back here and give the President a little quiet time in his privvy."
"I've only had one problem with the new facility so far," said the President, "I've had to put up a sign that says, 'Cheney stay out!' Lord that man can stink up a place."
When asked about the Rose Garden controversy, the President responded with another joke, "I beg your pardon..I never promised you a Rose Garden...heh -heh."