Written by david alsatian
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Topics: Howard Stern

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

SHOCK JOCK Howard Stern was last night fighting for his life after a freak accident involving former Mexican World Cup star Manuel Vidrio.

Stern was the guest of honour at a charity game organised by Vidrio's cousins Jose and Roberto, who work for new MLS side Chivas USA.

The game saw former Mexican internationals play against a host of C-list celebrities, including Stern, America's Got Talent judge Piers 'Moron' Morgan, Bea Arthur from the Golden Girls and the guy who played Theo in the Cosby Show.

Stern had hoped to play a key role at the back, but a groin strain caused by excessive masturbation, forced him to sit on the stand.

The Mexico XI were leading 25-0 when Vidrio - who starred at the 2002 World Cup - was forced into a clearance under pressure from tenacious 85-year-old actress Arthur.

He blasted the ball into the stand where it hit a stunned Stern smack in the face, knocking him unconscious.

Eyewitnesses claimed the foul-mouthed disc jockey was looking down the top of a well proportioned female fan three rows down and had no idea the Grim Reaper was about to knock on his door.

Stern was rushed to hospital and remains in a 'critical' condition on a life-support machine.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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