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Topics: Lottery

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

image for Lottery Winner Collects $300 Million

Kansas City, Misouri (IP) - A man named Henry Finootch won $300 million dollars in the lottery on Saturday night but was disappointed when he was paid in rolls of pennies.

He will collect $100 a month in pennies and he has to roll them up himself. Each roll must include his name, address, and phone number.

Mr. Finootch looked very tired and was red eyed from staying up all night answering phone calls from long lost friends and cousins who he had not seen in years. "These people are coming out of the woodwork all of a sudden" he whined.

Mr. Finootch has gone into hiding and has taken his dog with him out of fears that someone may try to kidnap the once poor pooch. He says he will continue to play the lottery and knew all along that he would win due to his superior intelligence. Mr. Finootch agreed whole heartedly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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