Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Tuesday, 28 August 2007

image for Superman evicted from his Fortress of Solitude by the Russians; applies for Section 8 government subsidized housing in Metropolis -- rejected
Superman evicted from his Fortress of Solitude; application for Section 8 rejected; crashes on Kent's couch

Metropolis, Metropolis - Superman flew out to his Fortress of Solitude located somewhere in the North Pole this weekend only to find it had been discovered by a recent Russian submarine expedition claiming it on the behalf of Mother Russia. He arrived to find an eviction notice posted the front door to the crystal manor of his forefathers from Krypton. Desiring not to trigger an international incident in these tense times, he returned to the United States where he plans to take the matter before the World Court.

"The World Court agreed to hear Superman's case," said Joe Franklin, International Lawyer. "But really, only as a courtesy to his service to humanity because between you and me, he really doesn't stand a chance of winning."

According to Franklin, Superman's case is a classic example of individual property rights verses eminent domain and with the recent trend toward globalization backed by new laws passed in the legislatures and court rulings throughout governments of the world, Superman, like everybody else, has the chips stacked against him.

"He maybe the man of steel, faster than a speeding bullet or able to leap a tall building in a single bound but even Superman can't take on globalization," added Franklin.

"Look, the Russians claim of the North Pole is both unrecognized by other legitimate nations of the world and untested in the World Court," said James Elderberry, Professor of law at the Harvard School of International Law. "His case is the nexus case. It will set precedence no mater what the outcome."

Unable to show proof of employment, or come up with a security deposit (forbidden by the diamond industry to make anymore diamonds from chunks of coal), Superman initially applied for Section 8 government subsidized housing in Metropolis, but he was turned down for failing to prove proper identification, lacking proof of residency or even legal status as an alien resident.

However, good friend and reporter at the Daily Planet, Clark Kent, agreed to let Superman crash on his couch back at his apartment in Metropolis, while he is away in Tijuana, Mexico to interview immigration activist, Elvira Arellano.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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