Written by Tommy_Chewat
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Topics: Marriage

Sunday, 7 March 2004

image for The Marriage for Children Initiative
Smiling, but still barren.

President Bush today announced that he has finished his deliberation on gay marriages.

"It seems to me that the institution of marriage exists purely to serve the effective propagation of the human race" says a written statement from the oval office.

"If you take this argument to its logical extreme you cannot help but come to the following conclusion: That if single sex couples cannot produce children then they should not be allowed to marry."

"Unfortunately," the White House memo continues "this means that a lot of other infertile groups, besides the gaymos, are also in for the sharp end of some serious bureaucracy."

Post-menopausal women will be the first to be hit by the proposed legislation which declares marriage to them as, "A waste of healthy semen." Also to be targeted are the elderly, the disabled and for some reason, anyone of Iraqi decent.

The proposed Marriage for Children initiative also moves to have heterosexual men tested for fertility prior to being given governmental consent to marry.

If this proposal is pushed through to congress it will mean that Bush will inevitably have to divorce his own wife; First Lady, Margot Kidder impersonator and former Jeopardy winner, Laura Welch Bush. When asked for her opinion on the matter Mrs Bush announced, "I have no problem with that."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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