Written by Robert W. Armijo
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 22 August 2007

image for Second frozen body of a WWII pilot found in Kings Canyon National Park; officials suspect foul play
Second frozen body of a WWII pilot found; officials suspect foul play but a higher authority maybe involved

San Francisco, California - A second, in as many years, frozen body of a WWII airman was recovered today in the California High Sierra. It is believed to be the body of a pilot that accompanied the first one that was found in 2005. This recent discovery was made by a backpacker that was looking for the body for a book he is writing about the missing airmen. Because of the melting above the snowpack line, the bodies could be located and later removed by archeologists.

"I expect we will be able to make many more such recoveries of missing persons lost to the sowpacks of the high sierra in the near future with global warming," said archeologist, Brad Helter.

"He doesn't know that," said a Bush official. "How could he know that, he's an archeologist, not a meteorologist."

The Bush administration has been wasting valuable time denying the existence of global warming and have a different theory as to why the frozen bodies of the WWII airmen were discovered only recently after all these years.

"It's quite simple really, if you think about," said the Bush official. "Somebody is simply moving the bodies below the snowpack line so we can find them."

Environmentalist then attempted to explain once more that the bodies of the WWII airmen were not dragged below the snowpack line but simply the snowfall, which was one-third of normal this summer caused the snow and ice to recede, contributing to the discovering of the frozen body.

"But what about finding two frozen bodies in the same vicinity within two years of each other, umm," continued the Bush official, "What about that?"

The Bush official then dismissed the idea of a melting snowpack line as bleeding heart prophesies of doom brought about by a bout of the liberal willies over our county's unbroken record of economic prosperity and not sharing our blessings enough. He then pledged to start his own investigation into the matter, claiming he would get to the bottom of this foul play and uncover the identity of the perpetrator behind the ghoulish scheme of moving the frozen bodies of WWII airmen around so they could be found.

"It kind of puts the Bible in a different light, really," continued Helter. "I mean didn't God say, 'The Sea shall give up her dead?' Well, with all this water melting all around us, it kind of makes you wonder what's next. All I know is that I'm taking my Bible more literally now and praying a lot harder to change some hearts around here, if you know what I mean."

Make Robert W. Armijo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 1?

9 5 21 16

Go to top