Written by Deanna Goodson
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Topics: martha Stewart

Sunday, 7 March 2004

image for Ding-Dong, Martha Stewart's Career is Dead. Who's Next?
The Cookies Sure Are A-Crumblin' Now

Undisclosed Safe House, US

As news of Martha Stewart's guilty verdict became known throughout the United States, several other high profile home economists began to wonder if they would be next.

"I'm scared. I mean we all got skeleton's in our closets." Mrs. Field's supposedly said from her palatial mansion. "If they ever found out I borrowed my cookie recipe from Toll House, I could be Martha's cellmate."

Betty Crocker also wondered if she could face trial as well. "They told me not to use whole eggs in my recipes. No, but would I listen. How many deaths could I be indirectly responsible for?"

The most shocking of them all has to be Sara Lee. "I wonder how many years I will get in jail for fraud once everyone learns that my cheesecakes aren't made of cheese."

Each of these women will not admit whether they feel bad for Martha or not. They do mention that they may watch Martha's appeals process very closely just to see how it turns out.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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