Written by Chuck Terzella
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Sunday, 7 March 2004

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced that he will accept the position of Executive Editor of the muscle & fitness magazine, Muscle & Fitness, as well as the Flex publication. While the position will not take up much of the Governors time, the magazine will contribute two hundred fifty thousand dollars to the Governors Council on Physical Fitness, or Schwarzenegger Youth as it is sometimes called.

In related news, Attorney General John Ashcroft has accepted the position of editor of Guns & Ammo, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld will run Soldier Of Fortune, Vice President Dick (Dick) Cheney will take over the reigns at Oil Well Weekly and President George W. Bush will head Scholastic Magazine.

Karl Rove will steer a new publication, The Executive Handler, Condoleezza Rice will guide Teen Beat and Secretary of State Colin Powell will head Martha Stewart Living.

FCC Chairman Michael Powell will take over TV Guide, Interior Secretary Gail Norton will be Editor in Chief of the General Electric Companies Newsletter and Homeland Security head Tom Ridge will revive SPY Magazine.

Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman will run the Monsanto Company publication GMO Today and Secretary Of Labor Elaine Chao begin her own weekly glossy Job Search Now.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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