Written by Your Pal Val
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Topics: Clown

Monday, 20 August 2007

image for Local Man's Dream Of Becoming Rodeo Clown Not Cute Anymore

Ever since Aaron Kopecknik first knew how to talk he has expressed his desire to become a rodeo clown.

"He was so adorable," Aaron's mother Ruth Kopecknik remembers. "He would wrap towels or old shopping bags around his body, roll on the floor, and pretend he was in a barrel being buffeted on all sides by livestock."

Now Aaron is 47 and working as the bagger at the local "Stop N' Shop." He's never let go of his goal of rodeo stardom -- but members of the local community and loved ones alike are starting to turn a jaundiced eye at his dreams.

"It's just not cute anymore," Aaron's younger sister Judy Nussbaum commented. "And I'm not lending him any money for cigarettes until he takes that damn rainbow afro off his head and gets a real job."

"Aaron has always been a dreamer, an underachiever," father Jacques Kopecknik added. "He clearly has what it takes to be a register boy at Stop N' Shop, or at least one of those men who delivers groceries to shut-ins. But he just won't apply himself."

As for Aaron, he doesn't let the "man" (or "woman") get him down.

"This world is clearly too barbaric and unfair for me to live in," Aaron says, scooping up a handful of dimes and pennies from a dirty piece of tupperware by his bagging counter. "When I die I shall be reincarnated as the Christ."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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