Government securities firm SpyOnYou.com has announced partnership with China's medical establishment.
The company's Radio Frequency Identification chips are to become mandatory for all Chinese children according to new dictates from the totalitarian nation.
"Many of our citizen's fingerprints cannot be recorded using today's ink application technology," says criminalist Wang Ho. "RFID is the logical alternative."
Recent Westernization has introduced massive corruption and crime to the otherwise warlike nation, but Ho points to a recent press release from China's leader.
"That ABC Masters of Science Fiction angel on the [television] episode was respectful to our culture," said President Hu Jintao. "Your Hollywood writers spoke eloquently."
China's commitment to global peace has long been a concern for strategists in Washington, but today's announcement has pundits waxing hysterical.
While no one in Hollywood would touch upon this sensitive topic in late night monologues, Homeland Security has been alerted to upgrade to scanning devices at critical points of entry from China.
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