At a press conference today, President Bush stunned the nation by announcing that the U.S. is radically changing its space travel objectives. Bush said, "To ensure America remains number one in space, it's not enough to return to the moon and then continue on to Mars. That's why I have also ordered NASA to land astronauts on the surface of the sun."
After a shocked silence, one reporter blurted out, "But Mr. President, that's just insane. The sun is 25 million degrees. Our astronauts would be vaporized before they even got close to it!" To which Bush replied, "HA! That shows how much you know, stupid! They're going to land at night."
To Helen Thomas' question as to why it was even necessary to return to the moon and go to Mars, Bush replied, "Helen, we've already looked everywhere ELSE for those Iraqi WMDs."
When asked his opinion of Bush's statements, Mel Gibson commented, "Are you a Jew? The fucking Jews control everything!"