Written by Kent Pete
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Saturday, 18 August 2007

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Elizabeth II: Kinky Bitch.

In a rare break from Royal protocol the Queen sensationally admitted to George Bush yesterday that she regularly has multiple orgasms and further that her sex life was better now than it had ever been.

Expecting to exchange the usual pleasantries that occur on state visits, the dopey US President asked Elizabeth II how her flight had been. What followed will fill newspapers throughout the world for many weeks to come.

Obviously feeling the effects of too much Vodka the Queen turned to Mr Bush and was clearly heard to say, "Dubya, do you like Laura to wear stockings in bed?"

The stunned President was heard to cough nervously as Elizabeth said, "Only Philip insists on them. And I believe at his age he needs all the visual stimulus he can get wouldn't you agree?"

Again the president was heard to cough as the raunchy monarch continued, "I don't know about you but the older I get the more I find myself wanting it. I'm insatiable George, fucking insatiable."

At this point the Palace Security team were alerted to the Royal's behaviour and were seen to forcibly lead the Queen and her tiara out of the room.

It has been claimed recently that the number of Royal visits had taken their toll on the ageing monarch and that she was possibly considering going into semi retirement.

A spokesman from the White House told our American Correspondent, Peter Musgrove, "Your Queen certainly knows how to party man. She was getting down with the best of them last night . As for the President, he was just happy to have found someone that laughed at his 'Sausage on a Plate' routine"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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