Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 17 August 2007

image for Volcano's pavlovian reaction to Corrupt Bastards Club furor
An anthropomorphic pavolvian reaction or an Omen from Above?

Anchorage, Alaska - (Armageddon Press): One of Alaska's most active volcanos appears to be having what scientists have described as an 'anthropomorphic pavlovian reaction' to the furor surrounding the Corrupt Bastards Club and is begining to blow its lid this weekend.

The Pavlof Volcano is situated on a group of islands 590 miles southwest of Anchorage in the Alaskan Peninsula and has been rumbling angrily for the last 24 hours and displaying strong thermal readings "like it's gonna blow a big one" according to Alaska Volcano Observatory statements.

Many Alaskan residents have said that this is a sign that "something hideous" is about to blow in the Feds' investigation of the Corrupt Bastards Club.

This has been probing veteran Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens for the past few weeks for his involvement in collusion, bribery, fraud and embezzlement with VECO executives whose CEO and Deputy have recently struck a plea-bargain and grassed up many of their fellow conspirators.

Alaskan volcano seismologist Steve McNutt said today that the Pavlov has been exhibiting seismic activity "like birth contractions" with about one tremor recorded every minute.

Mudslides mud flows, lava flows and hot debris avalanching on the volcano's flanks were worrying Observatory seismologists "because they look just like waters breaking in a pregnant woman, a few short moments before parturition".

Pavlov is considered one of the most dangerous active volcanos in the Alaskan area and is monitored 24/7.

The last time it erupted was in 1996 when the UN Security Council was first tipped oof about Alaska's Corrupt Bastards Club colluding in an attempt to suborn a judge who fined oil company ExxonMobil some $5 billion in punitive damages for their role in the eco-disater of the Exxon-Valdez spill in 1989.

"We think this is gonna be the big one, maybe this weekend, maybe early next week," McNutt has warned.

And in nearby Juneau FBI officers are said to be preparing their biggest yet armed swoop on remaining Corrupt Bastards Club members who evaded their initial raid in September 2006 and earlier this year when Bruce Weyhrauch and Peter Kott were busted for corruption.

Expect an update soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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