Written by Deanna Goodson
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Friday, 5 March 2004

image for President Bush Learns To Play Sax: Seeks Reelection in 2004
Lisa, can you teach me to play?

Washington, DC

Unconfirmed reports are circulating around the White House that President George "Dubya" Bush is learning to play the saxophone.

"Yup. What worked for Bubba, will hopefully work for Dubya?" A friend of the president joked.

The President is seeking to improve his image. "He hates being seen as a corporate warmonger even if it is true. We all know how politicians hate the truth." A friend and former politician mentioned to two or three people who'd still listen.

This just may be a genius move. When Bill Clinton played the sax on the Arsenio Hall show, his votes went up.

"Bush won't cheat on Laura. He loves her. But he can learn to sax the American people up." Someone giggled.

Well, who is the lucky individual teaching the Commander-in-Chief how to play.

"He really wanted Lisa Simpson to show him how. He thinks she's got amazing chops, but when we reminded him she's a cartoon character, and thus, unavailable for reality, he got a little sad. I haven't seen him cry like that since his dog died. What was the question again?" An aide of the president replied somewhere near the White House.

Rumors are circulating that one of the Marsalis' is teaching him, but calls to both camps confirm nothing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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