In a shock statement from the Whitehouse today, President Bush has called for an end to the universal right to vote.
"The enemy is within us. Many of those who pose a threat are US citizens. If we give terrorists the right to vote then they would choose to vote for a candidate that would make life easy for them, such as Senator Kerry. We must remove enemies of the state from the electoral roll. Potential terrorists, anarchists, liberals and democrats all presently have the right to vote. I propose a system where only those who have shown themselves to be responsible citizens, by earning a huge amount of money and giving lots of it to me, may have the right to vote."
"I also propose to re-classify those who have not shown their patriotism, those who criticise me and those who don't give me lots of money as sub humans so they will no longer have the rights that only the patriotic, war loving, terror hating, money grabbing and dim-witted truly deserve. I intend to turn Massachusetts where so many of these enemies of the state come from into a holding camp for all these new sub-humans. They will be fed and housed and forced to work in factories without pay in order to produce cheap goods which will turn around our flagging economy."
"This will give the US a much needed boost in our fight to reduce terror and bring American democracy to the whole world."