Alaska - (Ass Mess): Alaska's Governor Sarah 'Barracuda' Palin has been touted as a likely VeeP to Mitt Romney and the GOP's official choice for the Republican nomination for the 2008 White House contest.
The former Miss Wassila has been put forward by Washington's Weekly Standard as a vote-winner for the Republicans after a giant 100 x 100 meter hoarding of her wearing a 'partial bikini' appeared on an inter-state highway crossing West Virginia and Kentucky.
GOP talent-spotters think Palin "could provide that all-important Wow! factor" as well as a vital counter-balance to the slightly (sic!) creepy personal profile that no amount of botox seems to be able to erase from Romney's face.
"Let's face it, he's sinister and needs somebody eminently f***able-looking to secure the vote", Capitol Hill sources said today.
"That last factor could well be what swings it. Because in a straight forward Clinton/Obama v Romney/Palin contest the odds would then be stacked in the GOP's favor.
"Because let's face it, there's no way that Hillary could ever look f***able, except to the country's dykes!"
Palin, 43, lists playing the flute as one of her accomplishments, a talent was recognised when she was voted Miss Congeniality in the 1984 Miss Alaska contest.
She also lists her membership of the National Riddle (Rifle? - ed) Association as a hobby and has admitted using marijuana when it was legal in the state, "but hell! I sure didn't like it and it didn't like me" - a kind of Alaskan Clinton-speak apologia meaning "you print that I inhaled and I'll sue your f***ing ass off".