Written by Chuck Terzella
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Friday, 5 March 2004

Three new Bush Campaign ads that feature the smoldering ruins of the World Trade Center have ignited criticism from the families of the victims, Democrats and anyone with a working moral compass. Unnamed Administration Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse defended the ads saying, " It's entirely appropriate to use pictures of a National Tragedy in a re-election campaign advertisement. After all, we want people to believe that George Bush is a warrior president and we sure as hell couldn't use the ‘Mission Accomplished' pictures now that Kerry is the candidate and Iraq is in shambles. Damn, those pictures on the aircraft carrier would have been great too. We can't even use the Thanksgiving in Iraq picture because of the stupid plastic turkey. At least George Bush wasn't responsible for the Towers, not so as you could prove anyway."

The ads feature a soundtrack with soporific music designed to lull the viewer into a coma and a voice over that assures the listener that ‘Don't worry, eeeeverything is aaaaaalright.'

"With any luck, people will stop paying attention," enthused Waterhouse, "that's really the best we can hope for, given the state of things. I mean, this hasn't really been the most stellar of presidencies...2.6 million jobs lost, 9/11, bin Laden still on the loose, A war in Iraq for no reason, the environment, gas at 2.00 a gallon, you name it, we screwed it. At least the rich got some tax relief so I'll probably have a job somewhere after November, but I'm worried about Dick (Dick) Cheney. He's got real trouble...Gay daughter, Haliburton under investigation again, it's messy. You don't want that."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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