Mephistophel City, Tennessee (IP) - The government is giving away, free, lead tainted toys from China to be used as clay pigeons. A government operated laboratory has developed a launching device that will accommodate all of the various shapes of toys to be launched.
Hunters and sports shooters were lined up for three miles around one facility that was used a distributing point for the lead tainted toys. There were no reported outbreaks of fist fights, eye gouging, wrestling matches, spitting contests, foot stomping, pushing matches, mumbly peg, nor any other civil disturbances as everyone seemed to be in a mellow mood as they stood in the long lines where temperatures exceeded 100 degrees (F) throughout the day and even into the dark hours. No one was seen cutting in line.
A fire department tanker truck showed up and gently sprayed the long line with cooling streams of refreshing water chilled to a pleasing temperature of 72 degrees (F).