Washington DC - (Ass Mess): George W Bush has praised Karl Rove's 'tremendous sacrifice' to leave Capitol Hill in the wake of the Scooter Libby perjury pardon fiasco and has said he was a 'witness to hystery'.
"We've been friends for a long time," Bush said today, "and nobody knows me better aside from the criminal records bureau at NATO military Intelligence.
"I would call Karl Rove a dear friend, a great collaborator and one of my best ever alibis, aside from Attorney General Alberto Gonzales who can always be relied upon to lie on order.
"We've known each other as youngsters interested in lining our pockets by duping harmless American taxpayers into a sense of being terrorised by foreign enema combatants.
"We worked hard together so we could be in a position to pull off some of the greatest heists ever in the hystery of the Corrupt Bastards Club.
"That missing $18 billion oil from Saddam's Oil-for-Fraud scam was one of Karl's finest!
"And so I thank my friend. I'll be on the road behind you here in a little while just as long as the Brits don't finally bust Clinton's ass over our 9/11 intelligence collusion!
"And talking of Bill Clinton, sure hope the new Brit boy, Gorgon Brown, knows what the hell he's doing this week when Clinton pays him a visit to sell off our 200 year old embassy building in London for $1 billion.
"'Cos Karl and I are due for a percentage of that rake off. Just part of his retirement package from Capitol Hill!"