Mephistopheles, Tennessee (IP) - Al Gore finally announced today that he will be running for President in 2008. He promises to end the war in Iraq in an honorable way and will make America the green envy of the world.
His one major campaign promise is to strip all roads and highways of their asphalt top and create a network of rural dirt roads in America. He says tar roads are contributing greatly to the green house effect. He has also promised to outlaw green houses.
Gore says the world should return to an agrarian state and that everyone should grow their own food on their own land.
He told cheering crowds that he will turn swords into plows. Gore picked Karl Rove as his running mate and thinks that having the "shrewd old goat", as he affectionately calls him, on his ticket should seal the election results in his favor.