Written by Ken Adrian
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Topics: University, Strike

Wednesday, 3 March 2004

image for Linguistics Professors Leave Campus Speechless
Strike Takes It's Toll on Cunning Linguists

HARVARD UNIVERSITY, Cambridge, Mass. - A select group of professors of linguistics from one of the world's most prestigious Universities have gone on strike, leaving several thousand students speechless.

"Mmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmmm", said one student who, apparently was at a loss for words.

Since the threat of strike action last week, many students at Harvard have been having "trouble putting words together" reports one Dean from another department, "I think that the actual strike was the final blow for many of them."

A spokesperson for the professors could be found but had nothing intelligeable to offer. "There's a lot of grunting going on here these days", said one student, "and it's not happening in the dorms if you know what I mean!"

The linguistists, apparently unhappy with the evolution of slang, threatened to "talk off the job" unless students within their program stopped saying things like "like", "me bad", "whazzup", and "chillax".

No comment from administrators on how the strike may be settled. One Fellow of the College announced, "You'all need to be chilln' cuz we got this thing under control. We'll let you have the 411 when we got some."

Harvard has not officially made a statement.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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