Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Topics: Al Gore

Thursday, 9 August 2007

image for Al Gore Sells His Business Empire for $3.2bn
He looks MUCH older, greyer and fatter now.

LONDON (Defecated News) - Former Vice President and guy who nearly got the top job himself, but didn't really, Al Gore is set to pocket over $3bn this year.

Mr Gore, inventor of Al-Gore-Rhythms used in mathematics, and Gore-Tex use by runners to stay cool, is to sell his business empire and focus on saving the world from evil bastards who want to destroy it.

"The money I will raise will be used to make homes for the homeless." said the former VP. "I will also employ plasterers to patch up the ozone layer and others to destroy all greenhouses, so saving the world from overheating."

The financial deals have raised the attention of hundreds of scientists round the world who get paid a lot of money just to research, and more to give the results politicians want.

Head of Canada's Environmental Research Fellowship, George St. Pierre explained, "I hope this money will help us research new theories such as that the world is not spinning as fast as it should be, or maybe that global warming is causing the world to freeze, or stuff like that. Rich idiots are useful sometimes, just to keep us in jobs, you know."

Prince Charles refused to comment.

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