North Canton, Ohio (Icky Sticky Press) - Fending off nationwide controversy regarding the security of its electronic voting machines once again, Diebold Election Systems now claims that its products are safe and that corrupt human beings are the problem instead.
By peppering its website with images as diverse as the flag of the United States of America, the Brooklyn Bridge, the Statue of Liberty, small children reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, firefighters and Mount Rushmore, the nearly 3-billion-dollar subsidiary of Diebold is deflecting criticism back at its attackers.
"We are a patriotic company," said one anonymous company spokesperson. "The problem does not lie with us. The problem lies with corrupt people who would use our voting machines for their own purposes."
No one from the corrupt side of the aisle could be reached for comment.