Hell's Gap, Wyoming (IP) - Hell bound train Hades 6-500 derailed today as it sped wildly south bound through snow covered terrain in northern Wyoming. It was a fortuitous turn of events for passengers aboard the sweltering hot and crowded confines of the bright red speed demon of a train.
Passengers were seen running, well running like hell, away from the smouldering remains of the meteoric iron horse. Some passengers lingered in the vicinity of the train kicking and jabbing away at the conductor and other train employees as they lay in pain on the ground. A few others were seen trying to loot the baggage compartment and a few lingered around the cocktail lounge taking advantage of free drinks on the house.
The passenger list was found laying on the ground and included 211 accordion players, 13 football referees, 28 lawyers, 17 bankers, 301 clergymen, 147 politicians, 49 doctors, 2 dictators, various writers of obnoxious TV commercials, and assorted restaurant workers who had put "special sauce" in their customer's food.
We spoke to a group of passengers as they started their journey south bound on their way to Las Vegas. They said this was their lucky day and they were going to cash in and live it up and put as much distance between themselves and Beelzebub's domain while they had a chance.
Mean while back in hell Mephistopheles just shook his head and said he wished he had gone for the direct deposit option but that he had been having a lot of trouble with his computer lately. Suddenly the Archfiend had a thought. The next group he would bring into his realm would be writers of computer viruses, phishing scammers, and anybody else who's work slowed down the speed of computers as well as phone company executives who refused to update their infrastructure. He would have to create a lot of new space but in the end it would all be worth the time and effort.