Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Sunday, 5 August 2007

image for Bush asks Congress for emergency bridge retrofitting powers to prevent further threats of bridge collapse; Congress says: Okay
Congress gives Bush another blank check, so much for our once touted system of checks and balances.

Washington, D.C. - President Bush was handed over his latest victory on the new war against bridge collapse today when Congress voted Bush emergency bridge retrofitting powers in a desperate attempt to prevent further bridge collapse. The President needed the emergency powers because the country's bridge infrastructure is antiquated, said the White House. Critics, however, are concerned the new executive powers go too far.

"The President is a man who knows how to balance his check book," said a spokesman for the President. "That should be all the checks and balances the American people need."

The American people just have to stop listening to the naysayers and reading the Constitution. The Bill of Rights in particular, and for God's sakes throw away any copies of the Federalist Papers, reading that will really get you into trouble, said the spokesman.

"Just stay tuned to the Bush administration's next Churchill quote and forget about anything you thought you heard what our founding fathers said. Those guys are nothing but rabble rousers," continued the spokesman.

It is reported that the President already has several bridges on the verge of collapse under surveillance that are known to have suspected terrorist affiliations.

The Bush administration claims this is precisely the reason why it was necessary for Congress to grant him the emergency powers despite the objection of Constitutionalists.

"These bridges have been under surveillance using the emergency powers granted to me by Congress," said the President. "Without those powers, I would have never known which bridge was on the verge of immediate collapse or just substandard because of failing infrastructure due to a lack of improper budget cuts imitated by the prior administration."

The White House, however, refused to disclose which bridges were on the verge of collapse or under surveillance or that have known suspected terrorist affiliations, or how many, if any, were domestic bridges, citing national security.

When questioned how the American people or even members of Congress with top level security clearance would know if the new emergency powers grated are working properly and not being abused, the White House responded by saying, "You haven't seen a bridge collapse lately, have you? Well then, it must be working."

The White House then invoked executive privilege and ordered all White House cabinet members and their staff and the White House support staff, including maids, cooks and gardeners not to respond to any Congressional subpoenas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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