In Montreal police officers arrested a loud man for breaching the peace yesterday. His neighbours were all nervous of him, but he was simply arrested for playing music too loudly.
To the man's eternal shame, it was not heavy metal, or what the kids these days would describe as being cool, but it was the music of Roger Whitaker, and one hit wonder English singer Chesney Hawkes.
Neighbour Kevin Pike said that he was such a loud man. "He never kept himself to himself. He was always out with people, line dancing, knife throwing. I just cannot believe he was only arrested for breaching the peace. We all had money on him being a serial killer, and his fridge containing body parts. That is $10 I owe Shane now."