Written by Dan Holmes
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Topics: Women, Viagra

Sunday, 29 February 2004

image for Viagra not effective on women shock

Fizzer Farmer-suiticals has pulled the plug on an 8-year research programme into the effects of Viagra on women after it appears that it makes no difference to their sexual satisfaction.

"We've spent a shitload of money trying to prove that Viagra has some effect on womens' sexual urges, even if it's only a weedy third orgasm," explained Fizzer spokesprat Margot O'Shag. "Unfortunately it didn't work. Men love it, as you might expect, ‘cos it gives them 24 hours at a time of erective capability. Unfortunately every one of the women in our programme was partnered by a man with a tiny dick."

Beverley (names have been changed to protect the underendowed) agrees. "We were part of this test - or at least he was. Viagra was supposed to give him prowess beyond the Dreams of Olwen. Tom Jones size and Ted Heath stamina. But when your husband has a dick the size of a button mushroom, fully engorged, the satisfaction rating is zero. Less than fucking zero. I had more fun with the Dyson. In fact so did he."

Says Margot O'Shag "This is obviously a disappointment to us, since we had expected to be able to make millions on the back of wives' and lovers' delight in their partners' dongs. But are we downhearted? Not us. We are urgently investigating the potential of fruit. Crossing a coconut with a banana to give a long curved thing with a hard skin and hair is the way to go."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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