George Bush seemingly answered the prayers of many last night, stating that he had decided to pull all of the American troops out of Iraq. The reasons soon became clear, many thought that Bush had decided that the war was not gaining anything or that the Government would be attempting a new strategy.
However George Bush revealed that the reason he decided to pull the troops was he decided that there was another evil that deserved the military's attention. That person is none other than Santa Clause.
"Santa has been stating for years and years that he only wishes to spread happiness and joy to children. Well I speak for many when i say that I am not happy or joyful. He never makes good on his promises and he wont face us when we say we are unhappy. Wanting to make children happy does not make you a good person, Micheal Jackson states he only wants to help little children. Well it sounds to me like these to have a lot in common. Both are creepy, both wear ridiculous outfits and both like children to sit on their laps. The only difference I see is that one can dance."
The troops are going to be sent to the North pole in search off the rounded bellied character, millions of dollars are expected to be spent on the man hunt for one of history's greatest loved icons.
When asked what lead him to dislike Saint Nick so much, Bush stated: "When i was five, I asked Santa for a doomsday device, all he gave me was a yo-yo."