Bloodyvostok, Russia - (Pravda): The science arm of Russian intelligence has claimed that Wednesday's Minneapolis freeway bridge collapse disaster was caused by a Pentagon acoustic weapon burst just like the one in the 1967 destruction of the Silver Bridge over the Ohio River at Point Pleasant in West Virginia.
"Of course this is no laughing matter," Pravda sources commented today.
"Perhaps like in Ohio in 1967 they will blame it on the Mothman?
"Except that the 2007 Mothman is a top secret Pentagon acoustic weapon upgraded from the 1967 original.
"It was upgraded in 2001 to cause landslides in the Tora Bora region, where Donald Rumsfeldt was trying to smoke out Osama.
"Our satellite senors detected an acoustic wobble on Wednesday in the Minnesota region close to a covert Pentagon weapons testing facility."
Rumors of an American sound-based non-explosive secret weapon have been the stuff of legends for years of course.
But what kind of sick joke would it take for someone to deliberately take out the Minneapolis freeway bridge?
"We have no information on this subject at the moment," disaster investigators said today.