Written by Johnny Ovaltine
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Topics: Virus

Thursday, 2 August 2007

image for West Nile Virus Traced to East Coast Studio
West Nile Mosquito In Full Body Armor

The fragile truce that had been established between P Diddy's East Coast Bad Boy Entertainment and Snoop Dogg's West Coast Death Row Records is in danger of collapsing. At a sit-down in Hastings, Nebraska, chosen for its neutral location, members discussed everything from weed to ho's.

But an unexpected arrival from the Coast-less Midwest Crew threw a serious monkey wrench into the works. One of the posse claimed to have inside information that the deadly West Nile Virus originated on an East Coast computer in Teaneck, New Jersey. The accusation lacks credibility because it was made by non other than Eminem, the dude named after candy.

Our inside man, Scoop Johnson said the tension was unbelievably thick. "I mean, you have some heavy hitters all at the same table; The Sugar Hill Gang was there with their deadly candy coated canes, Grandmaster Flash was taking pictures, The Beastie Boys were acting beastly, the Wu-Tang Clan was warming up their Wu-Tang Style, Public Enemy wasn't getting along with anybody, 50 Cent and the G-Unit put tokens in the vibrating bed, Mack 10 was locked and loaded, MC Hammer was ready to nail somebody, Dr. Dre was ready to do some assisted suicides, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony were going to sing you a song while administering a severe beating, the Insane Clown Posse had everyone on the verge of laughing to death, Tech N9ne had the hollowpoints, Killer Mike was ready to kill or be killed, the Ying Yang Twins were warming up with the Crane Style, Bonecrusher was crushing bones, Field Mob, Crime Mob, Slim Thug and Three 6 Mafia were all ready to whack each other while Usher was making sure everybody found their seats."

The Center for Disease Control is investigation the allegations. Mos Def was questioned regarding the entire affair and he said, "It don't make no sense. I mean, all da while, everybody was steady blamin' the Wes' Coas'n all that, denit turns out, it was da Eas' Coas' all along. Dat's some f**ked up sh*t…"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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