(New York) - Front running presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, is so confident of being elected in 2008 that she is already selecting her new cabinet members and new appointees to high office in her administration.
New Mexico Governor, Bill Richardson, who claims he has Latino genes, will be rewarded with an Ambassadorship to Mexico. This is a well earned reward for Richardson, who, for many years, has given New Mexico driver's licenses to illegal immigrants who visit his state, on their way to California, where they can then trade in their legal New Mexico driver's license for a legal California driver's license. Mucho gracias, Bill.
Homer Simpson will be the new Secretary of Defense and Marge Simpson will be the new Secretary of State. Star Jones will be tapped as the new Attorney General.
Lindsay Lohan will be the new head of the DEA. Nicole Richie will be Undersecretary (but she will only serve 5 days).
Rosie O'Donnell is slated to be the new Press Secretary and the new head of Homeland Security will be Tony Soprano.
If elected, in the first 90 days, the Hillary administration is expected to raise taxes, give illegal immigrants amnesty, expand the Patriot Act to include spying on Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, raise taxes, eliminate the death penalty and replace it with a time out, disband the military, and establish diplomatic relations with Al Qaeda and invite them to tea at the White House.
Barack Obama was overlooked for a position in the new Hillary administration, as he was deemed too inexperienced to be anything but a U.S. Senator.
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence