Inside sources said the 3-week chugalugfest slated for August was postponed amid shocking allegations that Billy Bob Thornton would not be invited to the party. Thornton, who suffers from fierce nosebleeds and motion sickness, single-handedly put space flight back on the map with the cheese-fest Space Farmer.
The shuttle, which had already been packed with all the amenities, was ransacked by disappointed pilots that needed to fend off the oncoming depression from the sudden termination of the galactic celebration. Buffet was quoted as saying, "Some people claim that there's a woman to blame but I know, it's my own damn fault."
An unidentified source at Florida's Highway Patrol said, "The real reason they cancelled it is because we couldn't figure out a way to make money on it. I mean, how do you charge somebody with D.U.I. if they're not even driving anything? All they do is sit in the stupid seat and the shuttle does the rest. We can't even get them for a seatbelt violation 'cause they're buckled in. The whole thing blows."
Dr. Dre, who was going to open for Buffet said he wasn't surprised the event was cancelled. "That dude did that movie and stuff, and not inviting him was not cool." Although we may never know who actually pulled the plug on the 21-day extravaganza, top experts pick Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. "Space Farm made me cry and, if he's [Thornton] not going, I'm not paying for the gas."