Washington, D.C. - Sen. Clinton announced a new campaign fundraising effort based on an 746-word article in a fashion column of the Washington Post about her cleavage, drawing further controversy on the matter that she being hypocritical by exploiting the situation for financial gain. Her decision has left critics asking which one is the real boob job: the article she alleges exploits women for their body parts or her exploitation of the allegedly sexist article for campaign funds.
The controversial decision has left people speculating how Mr. Clinton would have handled the situation with the critics.
"I would personally invite each and every one of them to the White House for a formal candlelight dinner," said Mr. Clinton. "Now, I won't tell you what I do or say to them behind closed doors but I will tell you this: I'd be gentle but firm. I'd let them know without a spoken word between us that they are the last thing I think about before I go to bed at night and the first thing I think of when I wake up."
Sen. Clinton supporters maintain that no other body parts of any of her all-male running mates have been made an issue in an article like hers.
To which only Obama responded by releasing a prepared statement:
"Without having to go into details on the matter, at this time, Senator Obama would like to say that although he fully empathizes with Senator Clinton, with all due respect, however, it would be inaccurate of her to claim that she is the only one who been subjected to highly questionable scrutiny in this election campaign.
"He kindly reminds her of the many times he has had to address questions, regarding his mixed racial make-up, asking whether he is Black enough or too White. "
A question not beset on Senator Clinton or any of the other candidates. A question of a very personal nature and that goes down to the root of his being, much like hers to her gender.
One, that up until his decision to run for President of the United States, he left unanswered outside of himself, except for his wife and his personal family physician, of course. To which they would have to say, 'He's certainly not Jewish. We know that much for sure."
Sen. Clinton could not be reached for comment.