Virginia Beach, Virginia (IP) - The newest and mightiest battle ship ever built was unveiled today. It was christened the USS Bush. Its forte but not single purpose is friendly fire. The ship is powered by fear and scare tactics.
Even before it ever left port the ship has already destroyed an impressive list of targets both friendly and unfriendly.
The first fatality to fall victim to its mighty guns was the USS Democracy. This was followed by the crippling of the USS Constitution and the the almost total destruction of the USS Bill of Rights. The USS Middle Class is listing badly after taking numerous hits from the USS Bush's guns.
There are also a group of targets whose destruction seem odd and ironic but have suffered greatly none-the-less. They include The USS Conservative Movement, and the USS Army which has been decimated due to attrition brought about by the constant wearing down and squandering of its resources by the USS Bush.
The little admiral running the ship was promoted through the ranks despite being AWOL during the Vietnam quagmire.
The ship is not welcome in most foreign ports and protestors are conveniently kept out of the little admiral's field of view.
The little admiral has a disdain for science and its benefits. It is said that at the insistence of its little admiral that the ship is navigating a path very similar to that taken by the Titanic but the little admiral has no fear and is quite confident that the ship is unsinkable.