Written by Johnny Ovaltine
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Topics: Snoop Dogg

Thursday, 26 July 2007

image for Snoop Dogg: Michael Vick is innocent
Fa Shizzle Ma Nizzle

Hip-hop sensation Snoop Doggy Dog took time off from his court battle against Snoopy the dog to say that his friend is innocent of all dog fighting charges. "The entire Dog Pound is behind him." Greg 'the sniffle' Biffle said, "I'm surprised that Snoop would say that considering his name."

The Snoopmeister replied, "Reely doe, it ain't like dey din' know whas deys gettin' into and dey was earnin' jus enough to keep their sack right…" We firmly believe the Dogg said, "Really though, it's not as if they didn't know what they were getting themselves into and they were getting paid."

Don King who promoted some of the fights could also find himself in hot water. HBO has reportedly cancelled a contract with Michael Vick to televise the matches in a syndicated series. Jim Lampley who provided narration on at least 100 of the fights gave us his take on the situation.

"Apparently, the walls came tumbling down when Spotty the Dalmatian refused to go down in the fifth round like he was supposed to in his bout against the Pomeranian Pekinese mutt Lucky Luciano." Heavy wagering caused the football star to go in over his head with the Gotti family so they turned him over to the gaming commission. Emmanuel Stewart refused to comment stating, "I'm really in no position to talk since I trained a few of the fighters."

Spotty the Dalmatian who was the undefeated champ refused to bend under the pressure to throw the fight in order to make some mad money. Larry Merchant began to summarize the event saying, "Not...since…the days of….Lassie….has such…a...," then we just got sick of waiting for him to finish and walked away. Harold Lederman had the fight scored about even but for a point taken away from Luciano for a low-blow in the third round.

Referee Tony Weeks who arbitrated all the fights since the inception of the club said it was a real pleasure to be in the ring with the fighters. "…especially Lucky Luciano. He gave new meaning to the word south-paw." Vick, who is facing several years in prison for not giving the I.R.S. their kick-back checks made a public apology and claimed to be an animal lover himself. "I have two turtles, a rabbit and a hamster. Doesn't that count for anything?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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